A Mothers Day Memory

Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there! You are the glue that holds our families together. You are strong when you need to be and soft, caring, understanding and loving when we need you to be.

When I was around 10 or 11, Mom and I, well Mom, drove from California to Colorado to attend my Uncle Herschel’s funeral. It was a long drive for mom by herself, took two and half days as I remember. It was during the heat of the summer and I remember going through Utah and the salt flats area where the road was straight as an arrow and seemingly never ending. You could actually see the heat waving off the blacktop in front of us. If you focused on it, it nearly mesmerized you. Hard to explain but it was something I won’t forget. The car didn’t have air conditioning and that I remember well.

At one point during the heat of the day Mom shut the car off and coasted to a stop on the side of the road. Being the very mature 10 year old boy that I was, I said “why are we stopping mom?” She replied “something is wrong with the car.” “What’s wrong?” I asked as if she should know.

She got out of the car and popped the hood while I of course sat my lazy 10 year old butt in the seat. After some time I saw her walk around the car and then she opened the trunk to retrieve a rag. I learned later she was checking the oil. She then walked over to the passenger side of the car and opened the door. What I remember her saying was; “Danny Ray, get your butt out of the car and help me figure out what is wrong with the car. There is no oil in the engine.”

Yikes! What I knew about cars, oil or anything for that matter you could put inside a thimble. Never the less, the boss had spoken. I jumped out of the car and asked what I could do. “I don’t know, climb under the car and tell me if you see anything.” I remember thinking, “heck, I can do that.” I shimmied under the car with zero idea what I was looking for or what I could do even if I found something. Low and behold, when I got to the oil pan I noticed there was a hole in it which turned out not to be a hole but where the oil pan bolt “was”. There was fresh oil around the hole and all over the underside of the car. “Mom, there is a hole with oil dripping out of it.” That in-depth analysis caused mom to climb under the car to see for herself. It was then I learned it was the oil pan bolt that had somehow come loose and fall out. “We need to find that bolt” she said. “Go look for it and be careful for cars coming.” I remember thinking, how in the heck am I supposed to find a bolt? I did notice an oil streak in the middle of the lane we had been driving on so I started following it. I’ll be damned if after what seemed like five miles (probably 500 feet, lol) if I didn’t find the damn thing! I was so happy and proud, I ran back to the car screaming like a, well, 10 year old kid, “Mom, Mom I found it, I found the bolt!!” She greeted me with a big smile and hug. “You saved the day Danny! Good job!” Who’s the man! Lol

She had me climb back under and screw the bolt back in. With no tools it was only 10 year old hand tight. Not only did we have no tools, we had no oil either so we waited for someone to drive by so we could try to get them to stop and help. No cell phone in those days of course. After what seemed like hours we saw someone coming down the road through all those heat waves boiling off the hot road. With the hood still up, mom and I stood beside the car waving our arms asking for help. The pick-up slowed down and pulled in behind us. A good ole boy got out of the truck. “What seems to be the problem folks?” He asked. I of course proceeded to tell him the oil thing fell out and I found it but we don’t have any oil. Mom smiled and said that the bolt is back in but only hand tight. The man said “I think I can help you enough to get you to the next town.” He returned to his truck, got the wrench he needed to tighten the bolt and then poured three cans of oil that he had in his truck. Whew! We were back in business.

A few hours later we pulled into the nearest gas station and got the rest of the oil we needed. We then found the nearest motel and called it a day. When we arrived in Colorado the next day Mom bragged and bragged about how I had found the bolt and helped her.

I will never forget that little adventure. Not because I found the bolt but, because of the lessons she taught me. The first is when someone is in need, don’t just sit there, get up and try to help them. The second is to never underestimate what you can do if you try. You may not know a damn thing about anything but if you try you just might learn something and help someone in the process.

For me, that’s what moms are all about. They believe in us and they know with a little effort we can do anything and best of all, they won’t let you skate by. They make you try no matter what the situation may be. I learned more about responsibility and manhood that hot summer day from my mom than I ever did from any other individual in my life.

I lost my mom when I was 12 years old to cancer. I think of her often, especially on this important Mother’s Day. My mom was the best. She was tough, smart, funny and loving. Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I miss you and love you!! But, you already knew that.